‘Absurdistan’ (a.k.a Ethiopia) I

The Democratic Republic of ‘Absurdistan’

...Tariku Abas-Etenesh...

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My closest friends call me Tare; that is my nickname.  And I sometimes amuse myself with the question,”if countries could take official nicknames, what would the nickname for Ethiopia be? Recently, while I was reading an Adam Johnson article about the late North Korean ‘Dear’ Leader Kim Jong Il,  I came across a word that could fit Ethiopia as it fits North Korea for different reasons:‘Absurdistan.’

So let's talk about The Federal Democratic Republic of Absurdistan ( a.k.a Ethiopia) where many absurdities are accepted norms.

In the republic of Absurdistan: Telecommunication, TV, radio, and other means of communication were introduced almost as immediately as they were invented; however their state of affairs now is almost as backward as they were when they came here in the old times. Some 'good citizens' of Absurdistan, however,claim that if people could be granted the right to buy cell phones it is a great development and change in the right direction even though the service is not better than the old switchboard Tele service, and that no official ever takes responsibility. In Absurdistan, Television service has three channels all presenting the same programs. Some 'good citizens' of Absurdistan ,however,claim the fact that the republic has a  TV station is enough by itself.

In the republic of Absurdistan: Honoring great deeds of great men is a rarest of treats while decrying and belittling are the normal function of life. If a country's history is to be gauged by the number of statues erected to honor great personalities of the republic, Absurdistan would look like a 15 years old. If anyone is honored in Absurdistan, it is usually because he/she was a person who dared to stand alone and bear the burden of living for his /her vision not because there is enabling systems in place. When the 'good citizens' of Absurdistan do honor someone, especially with a Political power, they do so by turning him/her in to a 'god-like’ creature of an actual little deity.

In the republic of Absurdistan: Political leaders demand embellishments for doing the simplest thing on earth: doing their own job. They call for mass demonstrations to celebrate themselves because they appeared on time to their office; they demand  sainthood vested upon them for every kilometer of road whose construction they supervised and whose financing was done by  the tax payers of  the public; they also demand the public to sing for them because they gave service at a public office financed by the taxpayers' money; they demand  worship for paying the government employee their own deserved salary.  If they build a bridge, it is as if a great unheard of miracle has happened on earth. They also require the public to surrender its right to ask, right to speak, and right to think for the mere reason that they have rebuilt a city. The 'good citizens' of Absurdistan, believe that such is an unheard of great feat deserving the surrender of all inalienable rights of citizens.
   

In the republic of Absurdistan: Political power is a factor of macho- philosophy where any group with the better collection of guns comes to power and feigns to have got the power through the legitimate lanes of democratic elections. Though the story of the republic of Absurdistan in the past century indicates only power of the gun dictating the political will, the 'good citizens' of Absurdistan want to believe that the voice of the citizen was always the catalyst in accession to political power. And the 'good citizens' tell you so while displaying their common characters: the fear of everything including their family members, uncertainty of and parroting what the politicians claim as absolute truth.    

In the republic of Absurdistan: One has to first be identified as member of an ethnic group to be identified as a citizen; and if one does not fit to any one category or does not want to be identified so, no option is on the table of the 'great democracy of Absurdistan'.  But some 'good citizens' of Absurdistan claim this is the best thing a democratic system could offer in the 21st century.

In the republic of Absurdistan: The people have three options when it comes to their reactions towards their political leaders: Fear, More Fear and Extreme dread. And the leaders go from being feared to more feared and to the most feared. But some 'good citizens' of Absurdistan claim all fears the leader of the time is imposing on the country is a bit less than the former leaders of the country; and so should be a great reason for jubilation.  

 In the republic of Absurdistan: everything otherwise regarded as absurd in other places is accepted  norm. The same politician who believes that " the people" under his rule,‘do not need more than one party’; and discourages any dissent, feels confident enough to preach that democratic pluralism is a great thing at the same time.

In the republic of Absurdistan: The definition of corruption is not embezzling public finances and breaking Public trust. The 'Absudrdistan' definition of corruption is speaking up about corruption among public officials. Officials can become as corrupt as they would love to become, and still be invisible to the " democratic system of the Absurdistan's government'; yet the visibility of the corrupt nature of the public officials come apparent only when they oppose the government of Absurdistan.     

In the republic of Absurdistan: the leaders have library full of books. However, the books they have packed in their libraries are only two: Book one: The 'Democratic' practices of Machiavelli’s ideals; Book two: The democratic implementations of 'Animal Farm' .

If after reading the above lines you thought 'this is absurd', I could only say “welcome to the Federal Democratic Republic of Absurdistan, I mean -Ethiopia.

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